i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
