this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
