Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
