She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
