the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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