You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
