So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
