I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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