The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
