well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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