That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
