so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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