i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The air was thick with penises
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
