We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Last time i carry you out of a forest
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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