yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
