Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
