HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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