We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
