I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You made out with two different species that night
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
