ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
