What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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