What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
