I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize