If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's official drugs can't kill me
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
