He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
