I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize