he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
