she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
