That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sorry about my life...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
