It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!š
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
