Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
