So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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