did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just want to make out with him forever
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Someone signed my nipple.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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