Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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