Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
