he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
two words: eviction party
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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