what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
