So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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