You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
