Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
