I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
