walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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