I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize