I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
