this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
