Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
