Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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