Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
