I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
