just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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