He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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