My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
