i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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