I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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