Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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