I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
